Here is the email I received from a woman today:
Dear Mimi,
"Having taken your advice, I opened up the age rage on my internet profile to include younger gentlemen.
"He is 7 years my junior and while thats not too much in the scheme of things, the idea of dating someone 7-10
years younger than myself is a new concept however, definately worth it!
"I'm writing to you to let you know
about a situation and ask your advice on something... his tattoo!
"More than 20 years ago, he had his true love's name embellished with hearts and flowers and tattooed to his
arm!
"He's said that over the years he's found that products on the market to fade it away just don't work well,
and that the only real solution to getting rid of it is laser surgery. He's decided that he doesn't want to go through the
pain of this surgery.
"Instead has decided to keep it as a 'reminder' so to speak, of one of the greatest loves of his life - lost.
"He said that it's a reminder of his lessons learned having chased her around the world only to find out the
love he thought was in place and shared, wasn't real. He believes now that expectation is the mother of disaster and now wears
it with pride and with new significance of his maturity and growth.
"Personally, I don't like it and especially don't like seeing it, no matter its significance to him.
"While the relationship is still in its infancy... I'm just not tackling this one - yet!
"However,
should the relationship continue to eevelop and grow on its current path, I'm thinking that I will make a decision within
myself to either live with it or, let him know that it makes me uncomfortable and ask him to consider the laser surgery option.
"I'd appreciate if you'd let me know your thoughts on this one."
"Thanks so much,
-- 'Doesn't Like His Old Tattoo'"
From Mimi:
Thanks for this question; it's a good one, because many people do run into this situation.
You're handling it wisely already by not making an issue of it since your relationship is just starting out.
It sounds to me like his reasons as expressed are to make himself feel better about an embarrassing tattoo -
he's justifying it so he can live with it. He's already tried removing it without success.
I don't know what the surgery involves, but it sounds like an unnecessary extreme measure in this case.
I think that in time, you won't even notice this tattoo nearly as much, if you and he stay together. If he falls
in love with you, then he'll like the tattoo even less than you do.
Maybe you mind the tattoo a lot right now in this stage where he's starting to mean a lot to you. In a future
stage, you probably won't feel the same way, I hope.
I had a relationship with a man who had a tattoo on his finger. He refused to show me what the tattoo was, even
though I knew him for a year. He kept a bandaid on it at all times, year in and year out. Of course a finger is a lot smaller
than an arm!
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